My Loved One Has Bipolar Disorder, Now What?

When one is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, unless the practitioner specializes in the disorder, the individual is sent out of the office with a pamphlet, a prescription or two and maybe a followup appointment or regularly scheduled psychiatric sessions and/or a psychological referral, if they are lucky.  From the point of view of a supporting loved one, unless you are physically at the appointment with your loved one as well, you may not get any information at all about what is involved with managing a bipolar relationship.

Unless there is pre-existing education on mental illness and bipolar disorder, the introduction of living with such a lifestyle can be a very confusing and possibly upsetting situation as a supporter.  As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, those that do not have bipolar disorder will never truly understand the illness in how it affects the mind and to what extent the pain that the illness causes toward those that suffer from the disorder.  However, as bipolar supporters, it is imperative that we educate ourselves as much as possible about the illness, how it affects our loved ones and how to keep ourselves grounded and calm during the most difficult times.

Do not expect the diagnosis session to be pleasant, other than gaining the knowledge on what may be causing the riffs in the relationship or why our loved ones have a more difficult time dealing with stress than others.  When my wife was diagnosed, there was no automatic extension to our session, no presentations or courses given on bipolar disorder, no instruction manuals on how to cope with the illness and no guidelines or assurance guarantees that told us what to expect.

When the diagnosis is made, the last thing the non-afflicted participant should consider is taking a path of selfishness.  If the first thought in your head is, “Oh great…”, do yourself and your partner a favor now and just walk away as that attitude will not help console your loved one and the relationship will practically be doomed from that point on.  The diagnosis is an event that will require as much love and patience as possible and your loved one will need as much support and understanding as you can offer to get through this difficult time.

If you and your loved one agree that the diagnosis can be shared among other friends and family, build a support system as fast and as efficiently as possible because there WILL  be times where your loved one will need help from other angles and you will need your own rock to lean against as again, this is a very difficult path to travel for all involved.  As strong as I am for my wife, I have realized and accepted that sometimes even I need a break and need to fall back on others when the time calls for it.

When a loved one is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, accept the diagnosis as your own as well and start absorbing as much data as possible in order to  help your loved one and yourself.  The more knowledge you have about the disorder and how it affects your loved one is the keystone of keeping the relationship a success, while keeping your own strength up when you really need to dig deep.  You will not be spoon-fed the correct answers but hopefully, this information will provide some light and let you know that there is hope, it just takes a lot of work to find it.

With a passion to reach out and to help others, Rich opens up a direct view into the trials and tribulations that come with managing a bipolar relationship and how to use real-world techniques to aid in stability and support.

Rich Wallace

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