How To Identify Triggers

Managing a bipolar relationship without having a deep understanding of our loved ones triggers can put a serious strain on the relationship for both sufferers and supporters alike. For those that are newly involved in a bipolar relationship, or just looking for related information, we’ll touch on what a “trigger” is and how it relates to the bipolar arena.

What is a Trigger?
Emotional or physical events that may either spawn an unexpected cycle within the bipolar spectrum, or may push the bipolar mind into either a manic/hypomanic or depressive episode outside of a common cycle.

I had posted a list of the “5 Most Common Bipolar Disorder Triggers” earlier on the site and although they are fairly common, another point I try to push as hard as possible is that although the symptoms of bipolar disorder are indeed similar, we must always remember that the individuality of our loved ones play a very large part in what should be seen as “common”.

Identifying our loved one’s triggers would seem easy as if we’ve been around them enough, we feel that we “know” them enough to just pick out those certain topics or scenarios that may cause issues. This simply isn’t enough and when we start to assume we know everything about our loved one, we open the relationship to a number of potential holes and gotchas that may only contribute to damaging results if/when an expected trigger fires off.

Most cases, supporters will only realize the after-effect of a fired trigger; the sufferer will suddenly exhibit a different mood that seems to have “come from nowhere” or one may seem to be very happy and content may switch over to being sad or upset without being able to initially explain why such a switch occurred. Now, this is not necessarily related to rapid cycling, but a trigger may present similar symptoms as the rapid cycling attribute of those that may suffer from such a variation.

Identifying Your Loved One’s Triggers
First off, the ‘event’ that has fired a trigger may not be something that can be visibly seen, as again, in most cases we will only see the immediate after-effect of the trigger. Initially, it’s imperative to study these effects to truly understand what caused the trigger to fire off in the first place. There may be a painful occasion where the trigger causes the individual to lash out and become irrational; this may be a result of the trigger sending the individual into a hypomanic state and although may be difficult to witness, it may also be very beneficial to help in understanding the root of the trigger.

Example One: My wife’s most common triggers are based on social anxiety that she experiences from using Facebook. I personally have been able to manage and maintain friendships from as far back as grade school and some of these friendships include members of the opposite sex.

Two triggers that we have been able to identify and are currently working on together stem from her own fears of rejection and feeling threatened by those of the opposite sex.

• If I update my status on Facebook and receive multiple comments from others, she may feel rejected if she makes her own update and receives no comments. This can fire off that particular trigger and push her into a mini-episode in and of itself resulting in thoughts that nobody cares about her.
• If I receive comments from females that she feels threatened by, another trigger will fire causing her to believe I will leave her for somebody else or accuse me of having affairs with other women.

Some triggers cannot be avoided; in the case of our Facebook triggers, it would be a matter of simply moving away from Facebook, yet with my wife’s Generalized Anxiety Disorder, she encourages me to stay on Facebook and help her tackle her challenges instead of running away from them by asking me to turn it all off, including this site.

Example Two: If the house becomes a bit too messy, the environment will generate a trigger and push my wife into a cleaning frenzy, introducing a potential hypomanic episode that may last for hours or days at a time. Her upbringing included that of being the “Cinderella” of the family where the cleaning of the home was solely her responsibility, and this did include such tasks as cleaning the tile grout and baseboards with a toothbrush.

This is a type of trigger that the entire family can help out with as far as preventing the actual trigger from firing by ensuring that our children finish their own chores, everybody picks up after themselves and we participate in regular housework.

There are obviously much more extreme triggers than what I have offered as examples and again, the triggers my wife and I combat together may be very different than what others may have to cope with. If we did not learn to understand and respect these and her other triggers, we would more than likely not be married any longer as the amount of pain and confusion that is caused by the after-effects of bipolar triggers can truly be devastating. In order to support your loved ones, one of your most important weapons in your arsenal is to truly learn as much as possible about these triggers. Keeping in mind that when they do hit, you are their first line of defense, and although it is difficult to catch most of the shrapnel, use it to your advantage to learn more about your loved one and remember that it is not a personal attack.

With a passion to reach out and to help others, Rich opens up a direct view into the trials and tribulations that come with managing a bipolar relationship and how to use real-world techniques to aid in stability and support.

Rich Wallace

View all posts by Rich Wallace
Richs website

Before you go, please consider subscribing to TheBipolarSpouse.com's informative newsletter or keep up to date with current posts by using our RSS Feed or subscribe to new posts via email.