Relationship Resolutions

With the New Year making its way around again, we follow the traditions of making resolutions for positive change in our lives. Whether it be the common promises such as to lose weight, stop smoking or be a better person, how often do we really take a look at our relationships as attempt to apply changes in them?

As with any relationship, bipolar relationships need attention and opportunity to grow as well. Hopefully, within the average three month mark after the New year, our desires to strengthen our relationship with our loved ones is not forgotten and passed along on to the, “wait until next year” pile of broken promises.

In my own relationship, which I’ve covered in recent posts, I’ve come to the realization that I often buckle much more than I should and I actually end up making matters worse for my wife to deal with her anxieties and such when I don’t push back at all. Any conflicts thay may arise tend to go unnoticed and unresolved as we both despise conflict between us whatsoever. However, as we both know deep down, if we don’t deal with those conflicts, they simply don’t go away on their own.

Dealing with conflict within a bipolar relationship can be very stressful, from both participants, of course. For those suffering from bipolar disorder, certain issues truly run a gamble on inducing a trigger and without intent, the conflict can boil over into a full scale episode that must be respected and addressed, outside of the original conflict. From the supporters perspective, we take great caution in discussing our piece as we truly wish to avoid making matters worse and inadvertently fire off that trigger.

Although we cannot “fight” the disorder as it’s always going to be a part of us, we also need to learn to still deal with the day-to-day without letting it run the agenda. After many discussions with my wife, we gain more of an understanding that when conflict does arise, there’s no intention to hurt or disguise the issues, but we also know that what may seem to be a simple hurdle we must get over, can quickly grow into a mountain and we must be prepared to deal with it if needed.

In our case, we’ve also identified that my overly cautious approach at life in order to support her stability is only enhancing her ability to remain anxious over such issues that we could be working on if I did indeed push back a bit. With that, and with her blessing, I’m venturing back out into such areas that raised anxiety levels before such as Facebook and other social media areas, as to not only connect with friends and family, but to also promote the site and connect with others in a similar situation.

In making such goals and resolutions, it’s imperative that we follow this path using baby-steps. I’m a huge believer if the, “Once Bitten, Twice Shy…” mentality so this is also a challenge for me as if I am doing anything that causes my own wife discomfort, even though she is pushing me to do so, I feel a bit selfish in doing so. Yet, I know that making such resolutions and following through is truly a win-win opportunity for the both of us and that can only strengthen the relationship we’ve built.

What say you??

With a passion to reach out and to help others, Rich opens up a direct view into the trials and tribulations that come with managing a bipolar relationship and how to use real-world techniques to aid in stability and support.

Rich Wallace

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