Build Your Relationships With Trust

The stigma that is attached to almost any mental health topic can create a barrier around those affected that can hinder their ability to trust others. This can make things difficult for those in the relationship as it can seem to become very one sided and unbalanced if one is not willing to offer full trust in the other.

Although there are certain aspects that we must consider and respect from one another, most any relationship cannot truly survive without the attribute of trust acting as the foundation. Unfortunately, since trusting others is not necessarily a one way street, we must keep an eye open and learn about the challenges that are blocking the path in order to resolve them if we are looking to strengthen the bond.

Possible Trust Barriers

Personal History: There can be different aspects to how personal history can affect trust whether that history belongs to the sufferer, the supporter or both. It’s important to set expectations on how such history will be considered in the relationship and if there are any concerns that must be brought up and discussed. Such topics may include troubled family history, traumatic life events or basic concerns such as personality or moral beliefs.

Example: My wife was brought up in a harsh way of life and was limited to social interaction with others, especially males. My upbringing was not restricted and my ability to have friendships with other females causes concern and anxiety for my wife. She knows I am not one to stray, but her personal history disallows her to fully trust other relationships I may have with other people.

Conflicts of Opinion: Opinions are as unique as each individual and although some of the foundational connections involved in a relationship seem to work, sometimes all it takes is a slight difference of opinion in order to put a crack in the foundation. Such issues may be related to religious beliefs, political followings and overall thoughts on basic topics.

Example: I am very laid back and tend to not let too many things bother me and sometimes refuse to let issues that would normally traumatize a relationship to cause me much concern. My wife has always been a worrier and if issues arise that should put me into a panic attack, do not success in doing so, she sometimes feels as though I do not care enough about the relationship overall.

Self-Inflicted Mistakes: This may sound odd, but based on some of the mistakes one individual has made in the past, that same individual may start to lose trust in the other. In other words…although mistakes are made, and although we are all human, if those mistakes are deemed as critical yet easy to make by one individual, it only offers the possibility that the other participant can easily make those same mistakes and cause damage to the relationship.

Example: As discussed in another post, some relationships experience damaging challenges that may or may not be recovered from, such as infidelity. If the relationship is salvaged and an understanding is reached on the topic, the offender may realize how easily the mistake was made on thier own part. That realization may bleed over into a newly developed trust issue against the non-offender in preparing for a retaliation “mistake” or feel that the other individual can easily make that same mistake.

Although it would seem easy to just work on including trust somewhere in the relationship, it is imperative that we highlight trust as the base foundation of the relationship, instead. Such a situation where trust is not returned 100% from both participants can only bring frustration, anger and fear that can consume the relationship and continually damage the connection.

It’s not easy to fix a cracked foundation when the house has already been built. If trust is not embedded within our relationships from the start, there’s no telling when the entire house will crumble to the ground.

Share Your Thoughts?
What trust issues have you had to handle and how did they affect your relationship(s)?

With a passion to reach out and to help others, Rich opens up a direct view into the trials and tribulations that come with managing a bipolar relationship and how to use real-world techniques to aid in stability and support.

Rich Wallace

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