Bipolar Disorder: Illness or Attribute?

When you hear the terms, “Manic Depression” or “Bipolar Disorder”…think about the first thing that comes to mind.

Go ahead…I’ll wait…

Do you think of these terms as a suitable label to place on a fellow human being? If you have never been introduced to the terms in such a way where you live with the disorder either directly or by association, do you feel it is acceptable to use such phrases as, “I know this bipolar chick…” or “That dude must be bipolar!”?

What about if you engage in conversation with one afflicted with the disorder and they are working as hard as they possibly can to recover from and live a comfortable and stable life with the disorder? Are you willing to tell them that you’re glad that they’re working on their “illness”, and trying to get “healthy”?

If so, go back to the drawing board and re-familiarize yourself a little more about compassion and respect.

Bipolar Disorder is NOT an Identity
Our loved ones may have been dealt a difficult hand in life, but it’s so very critically important that we refrain from placing the disorder before the individual. In other words, when I discuss the challenges that my wife and I push through in our own relationship, I exercise the respect due to her in explaining to people that my wife is not bipolar…rather, she has bipolar and make sure that her identity is not jaded as such where people see her as a disorder first, and a human being second.

I’ve been painfully honest on this blog about some of the major challenges my wife and I have experienced together that have been attributed to the disorder and yes, I’ll be the first to say that I’ve been hurt on more than one occasion…I am human, after all and there are emotions in here somewhere. However, I’m also not one to play judge, jury and executioner against my wife based on those challenges as her true identity is not the same as when the bumps in the road played out.

Typically, when the dust has settled from a bipolar driven episode, our loved ones can realize what had happened and express remorse, guilt and of course, sadness that they have potentially hurt themselves and/or others. Again, bipolar disorder plays some horrible mind games but we simply cannot label the individual as the disorder itself. Remember that some of the most extreme episodes can blur, if not completely hide, reality or consequence to our loved ones but in no way is that their fault as who the hell would ask for these types of challenges??

Much like any relationship, mutual respect is key in order for the relationship to be successful in any light whatsoever. Those touched by bipolar disorder may already be dealing with some hidden demons as it is and it’s not very loving or helpful to shine the spotlight on the disorder rather than the individual. Useful support is fine and can make a world of difference, but please take the time to know the humanity of the person and stop feeding the stigma that we fight everyday already.

With a passion to reach out and to help others, Rich opens up a direct view into the trials and tribulations that come with managing a bipolar relationship and how to use real-world techniques to aid in stability and support.

Rich Wallace

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