This particular post is aimed toward taking some time to reflect a bit as it pertains to my time blogging here on TheBipolarSpouse.com.  This challenge was inspired by another blogger that is very well known in the “blogosphere” and after reading about the challenge, it sparked a good bit of interest in me.  Although this post is more of an exercise, if you will, I hope that you find it interesting and useful as well.

Some of the key points that I would like to place my focus against on this article is aimed at a series of questions asked by one of the top bloggers in the ‘industry’ of blogging.  The format of this post will answer these questions in a “list” form and include links to articles within the site corresponding to those questions.

The Seven Links of Interest from TheBipolarSpouse.com

First Post: As I look back over the past year of writing TheBipolarSpouse.com, not only has my writing style changed dramatically, but some of my views compared between recent posts and the first post on the blog have gone through a pretty noticeable metamorphosis.  I find myself almost a bit disappointed in how I viewed Bipolar Disorder, but the continuous learning and re-educating of myself has improved in my opinion.

First Post Link:  A  Unique Challenge

Post that I Enjoyed Writing the Most: After investing some serious thought on how to portray how Bipolar Disorder affected me as my wife’s primary supporter, I truly wanted to share those thoughts about not only how I felt about the illness, but how I see the illness from my perspective in how it affects those living with the disorder on a day-to-day basis.  I had many questions and after finding some of those answers, I decided to add in some dramatics and wrote this post, that ended being a hard-hitter among readers, but I actually also enjoyed writing this as it really did help me to get my thoughts out.

Post that I Enjoyed Writing the Post:  Interview with Bipolar Disorder

Post Which Generated Great Discussion: Unfortunately, I have yet to find that secret ingredient that will offer a comforting invitation to others to really discuss the subject of mental illness here on the site.  My thought process revolves around the fact that the stigma linked to mental illness adds a bit of a barrier to opening the lines of communication, or maybe I’m just not asking enough of the tough questions, or generating truly thought provoking articles.  However, one of the most popular posts on TheBipolarSpouse.com that has brought in great discussion covers the most popular question.

Post Which Generated Great Discussion:  Why do Those with Bipolar Disorder Turn on Their Spouses?

Post on Someone Else’s Blog that I Wish I had Written:  I’m at a bit of a disadvantage in that, I write on how Bipolar Disorder affects me, although I do not live with the illness myself on a day-to-day basis; my main weakness in my efforts of being an advocate is that I do not ‘understand’ what the illness does to a person, only what it does to one loving an individual with the illness.  From the supporter’s perspective, I see first hand that there is an audience looking for guidance and insight, which I attempt to offer, but one post that I really wish I had been able to put together offers that support to me when I need it.

Post on Someone Else’s Blog that I Wish I had Written: Coping Skills for those  diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and the loving people who care for them

Most Helpful Post: Now this is questionable as again, I’m not getting many comments on the posts to really gauge how well I’m doing in this area.  That being said, I’m not sure if I should point out a post that has helped others the most, or one that has helped me the most in regard to sharing what my wife and I go through together.  So, I decided I’d share one from both perspectives based on the feedback I’ve received that presents positive reaction from a post, and how much better I felt after publishing this post.

Most Helpful Post (for others):  5 Most Common Bipolar Disorder Triggers
Most Helpful Post (for me):  Supporter’s Vow: I Won’t Let You Fall Apart

Post with a Title that I am Proud of: When it comes to blogging, in general…the Title of the article is typically the first chance I get to generate interest.  The goal is to not only offer that ‘first impression’ within seven to ten words, but to also stay close to home based on the article’s subject matter.  I had written a post that attempted to again answer the question on the main challenge that supporters are faced with in a Bipolar Relationship and when it came time to name that particular article, it hit me and I couldn’t have linked the message to the title any better, in my opinion.

Post with a Title that I am Proud of: Why Bipolar Disorder Fights Dirty

Post that I Wish More People had Read: My main goal with TheBipolarSpouse.com is to truly reach out to and offer support and a little guidance and hope to others that are in my situation in loving one afflicted with Bipolar Disorder and learn how to cope with the challenges that come along with such a relationship.  Even after making such a transition to my own way of thinking and seeing how cruel the ‘uneducated (or ignorant)’ can be, I still wish to push the same message that although the situation can indeed be difficult, success is not impossible.  This post that really tries to push that message, but seems to be hidden although I think needs to be a staple in the blog for all new readers.

Post that I Wish More People had Read:  Helping the “Normal” to Understand

It’s good to take that stroll down memory lane sometimes as it even helps me to see where I’ve been when I first started the blog compared to where I am today.  Sure, I try to help others that are looking for unique viewpoints on similar situations and my own ideas and offerings are definitely not ‘gospel’, but at the same time, not only do I receive supportive feedback, but it also helps me to keep my own path of education on the right track.

I will never view or advertise myself as an ‘expert’ or ‘guru’ on Bipolar Disorder as again, I can only see so far into the horizon from such a distance, but the more I learn, the stronger my own relationship with my wife grows, and if I can truly help others in one way or another, that’s a positive attribute added to the journey.

First off, I switched things around on the technical aspect of TheBipolarSpouse.com in regards to both the domain and hosting provider.  There were both some good and bad aspects of this little change up related to how some of the inner workings go and also with relation to syndicated updates.

The Good
After moving the foundation around a bit; TheBipolarSpouse.com has a new home with a new web hosting provider.  Hopefully, you may have been able to tell a big difference in the performance of the site as things are running much faster and smoother.  I’m still tweaking here and there, but overall, the hosting and article viewing is settled.  Just let me know if you run into any problems.

The Bad
With the move, I somehow lost the connection between the site and Feedburner, which is where I serve up both the site’s RSS feed, and the email notification services.  That being said, I’ve had to rebuild both so if you have been expecting updates via your email inbox, I regrettably have to request that you sign up for that service again.  If interested, please click here to receive your updates via email.

Business as Usual
Luckily, not everything blew up and some of the more popular methods of keeping up with the site are still available without any added effort including connecting with the site’s Twitter account, mailing list (which still includes my free EBook) and I’ve been receiving some requests and suggestions in the last site survey to open up the Facebook Page that may be coming back soon.  Not a huge fan of Facebook, but we’ll see how that comes about in the coming days.

Twitter
As mentioned, the site has it’s own Twitter account that will ‘tweet’ out new articles when they are published.  If you’re on Twitter and care to receive such updates, Follow TheBipolarSpouse.com and keep an eye open for the updates!

Mailing List
If you haven’t done so already, I encourage you to sign up for my mailing list.  Not only will you receive a free copy of my first installment of my “Bipolar Supporter’s Blueprint: Entering Into a Bipolar Relationship” ebook series, but you will also receive updates and other mailings on topics that I may not specifically cover here on the site.   Subscribing is easy and all it takes is less than a minute to get started and to receive your free ebook.  I’ll make is easy and offer you the chance to sign up now:

That’s about is for now and as usual, if you also wish to contact me via email, just click on the “Contact” link above, or simply click here.

I hope to connect with you soon!

First off, especially if you are new to the world of Bipolar Disorder, there is a nickname tied to the disorder in the relationship arena; “The Relationship Killer”.  I personally hate to consider Bipolar Disorder as a deciding factor in anything because that only feeds the stigma that the illness is what drives the individual, then the individual becomes the disorder, and that’s where the labeling continues to strive.

Intrusive thoughts can be brutal, but they are normal when they are mild and non-violent, of course.  While sitting at the office, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to fire my computer through the window and see what BMW or Lexus it hits, but that mainly occurs when I’m having a hard day at the office.  Such thoughts go away just as fast as they come and there is no harm done; aside from a little evil grin and a chuckle.

Coupled with Bipolar Disorder or other mental health challenges as such, intrusive thoughts can penetrate deep into the realm of belief and can begin to actually skew reality.  What’s worse is when those thoughts tack themselves onto past history, which may include pre-existing difficult memories or thoughts, which can introduce a double-whammy of sorts in creating expectations of what may have happened linked to what did happen that may have caused pain in grief in the past.

Case in Point
When your own history includes such negative connotations including mental abuse and abandonment, these horrific events that may have been recurring, become normal.  This materializes into expectations and anything other than such negative results are questioned and not easy to accept.

In our years together, my wife still has reservations on truly believing whether or not my love for her is sincere.  She also “walks on eggshells” wondering and waiting for the time to come when I will give up and walk out the door for good.  She battles with intrusive thoughts that tell her that I outright hate her, I have never been happy with her and that I have never loved her regardless of our history together.

Her expectations kick in alongside the intrusive thoughts and I am practically painted into a corner where no matter how many affirmations, comforting talks or attempts at solidifying her security in me are stopped in their tracks.

Watching her struggle through these battles are what makes it so very difficult for me.  I can look her dead in the eyes and tell her how I feel about her, but I can watch her mind tell her that I’m lying to her.  Her mind plays these games on her and tells her over and over that she has destroyed me, those around her and eventually, herself and so she has built the expectation that she will lose me and everything that is important to her.

Other times, she can actually stave off these thoughts on her own, albeit for a limited time, but she *knows* that the intrusive thoughts are not real.  There are those little things that come up that I do that can totally wipe away the negative beliefs, which are hard because I don’t even know what I did to help so much at times!  Sometimes, when I try extremely hard to help her fight these thoughts, my intention is to help, but I end up doing more harm than good, so as you can see, dealing with the intrusive thoughts is a double-edged sword.

Unfortunately, remapping mind programs isn’t as easy as we’d like it to be.  Sure, we can employ self-talk and develop coping skills, but at the end of the day, change is hard.  All I can do is ask my wife what I can do to help and listen when she asks for it.  Many of the things that she needs can be a bit difficult to comprehend but, those things are for her, not me and it’s my desire, even when I slip myself, to help in however I can.

What Say You?
How can people effectively communicate in ensuring that the intrusive or irrational thoughts are not true, nor are they to be fed by paying them any attention that can damage the relationship or the individual?

One of the only guarantees in life is that we will have bad days here and there; that’s just the nature of the beast when it comes to day-to-day living.  Sure, there are some of the few that can smile all day long and let their stress melt away like an ice sculpture in August.  Even so, to consider them to be invincible against difficulties in life is illogical, no matter how well they may be able to conceal them.

When it comes to such challenges and realities in relation to living with Bipolar Disorder, it is not uncommon for what many may consider, “just a bad day”, to truly feel like a day of Armageddon.  Personally, I have fallen victim to these type of days myself on one or two occasions, yet I am human and my world still exists…although maybe a little bit off axis than before.

Perceptions from the Other Side
I had the honor of receiving an email from one reader that offered permission for me to share his own insight based on why it appears that our loved ones can seem to shut down and/or lash out during times of difficulty.  Although his words truly shed some light on the subject at hand, when the actual event is happening in front my face, it is still difficult to watch as any witness to destruction can attest.

Whether we group people together with labels such as, “Mentally Ill”, “Bipolar”, or “Mental”…we are all still part of the same group labeled, “Human”.  Part of being human is to also be unique and individual; even when it comes to living with a generalized “disorder”, the common symptoms and expectations do not wander down a predetermined path.

Readers of the blog have witnessed some of my own days of weakness in such that I will actually go as far as taking the site down for a day or so.  Thus, I am human and I am not perfect.  But this is only brought up to present that although I do not live with mental illness in my personal life journey, again, I can still have bad days and shut down like anybody else.

Nobody is Perfect
I offer up my own imperfections to illustrate that although I am the non-bipolar participant in such a relationship, emotional shut down and “bad days” are simply not limited to those touched by mental illness.  I closely monitor the blog throughout my days and can see who’s visited the blog, how they located the blog and even what they typed in on search engines to find the blog.  To be honest, some of these searches can be heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time.

Watching a loved one go though emotional struggles is a difficult task and we all have our own unique set of coping skills.  Mine are no better than my wife’s; my wife’s are no less effective for her than mine are for me.  This is the gift of individuality, however, when we sit on the sidelines and watch our loved one deal with an issue in a much different manner, there may be misperceptions and frustrations introduced that have potential to wreak havoc on the relationship.

The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back
Life will always bring on new and difficult challenges, many that we simply have no control over.  However, that does not mean that these challenges won’t affect us regardless of what kind of influence we have against them.  Money still doesn’t grow on trees; taxes still haven’t gone down; kids still love to challenge boundaries and days will still turn to night.

Sometimes, we just need to be alone.  When we shut down emotionally, it is similar to that of a circuit breaker, in which, the demand has exceeded the capacity and it’s time to call it quits for awhile, until the demand thins out some.  Some will contest that we are only given as much as we can handle in life…OK, but when people become upset about a loved one “blowing up” or shutting down, keep in mind that although life has given us a ton to deal with, it never gave us a definitive deadline to deal with them.

Yes, I struggle with this myself and my wife can happily attest to this when she reaches her limit and needs to shut down.  Again, I am human and I am constantly learning, although I may fight some of these educational opportunities, I am not perfect.  My challenge to others is to not be so quick to judge other based on a label; simply because one with a mental illness does not make them exempt from the human race and also, stop and try to remember when you, the normal, didn’t have a bad day yourself.

What Say You?
How do you cope with emotional shut down when you watch a loved one go through such a difficult time?  How does it feel when you, yourself need to shut down and what adivce can you offer to loved ones when they witness your shut down period?

I’ll jump right into the message I have for this post…I will never understand Bipolar Disorder from the perspective of one dealing with the condition on a daily basis.  As much as I wish I could get that small bit of insight in order to truly understand some of the challenges my wife goes through, this limitation will always be with me.  To this day, I don’t understand it.

However, that does not prevent me from working on myself in such a way where I can cope with not only watching the inner battles that go on within our relationship, but also to know how to react when the tough times stop in for a visit.

Hindsight Truly is 20/20
If I could start all over again with this blog, the entire paradigm would be different.  The name of the site would be different, the domain would be different and my message would probably sway just a little bit.  Let me explain:

• My wife is NOT Bipolar; she LIVES WITH Bipolar Disorder
• One does not “be” Bipolar, nor is their identity equal to Bipolar
• Having a mood disorder does not define an individual
• Bad Days do not translate to being Mentally Ill

I’ve been all over the Internet studying, researching and “listening” to others touched by Bipolar Disorder either directly or indirectly, such as others in my situation as a supporter.  Again, I am the spouse of a loving woman that lives with Bipolar Disorder, I am not a spouse of a Bipolar woman that loves me.  Unfortunately, too many people put the disorder before the individual and I’ve grown sick of this pattern.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m just as guilty as many others and for years, I turned a blind eye to the pain my wife has endured.  Why?  Because I don’t understand.  When mood shifts came around, they scared me to death because…I don’t understand.  When I watch my wife shift from laughing and laying the one-liners on me to sadness and frustration…I don’t understand.

No Matter How Deep I Fall into the Rabbit Hole, I’ll Never Understand
Understanding is not my job, nor is it the expectation that my wife has on me and I’m asking my readers to not expect me to understand.  My desire to simply to help, to be there, to let my wife know that she’s not alone and to let you know that I don’t understand, but I sympathize.

I can see the mood shifts, I can feel the frustrations, I can sense the confusion…but I’ll never see it from the viewpoint of the director that is playing with the minds of those living with Bipolar Disorder.  I’m on the outside looking in and to be honest, the window that is available to me is jaded and only allows a distorted view.

When it comes to mixing in such daily affirmations with relationships touched by Bipolar Disorder or other mental health challenges, these affirmations can tend to either nurture the relationship, or end up sounding like a CD player skipping over and over again during your favorite song.

Once is Not Enough
There’s a reason they are called, Daily Affirmations…they are meant to be repeated to ourselves on a daily basis as to install a positive influence and frame of mind, thus being able to translate the belief into a reality.  That reality then is used to push us into a positive step forward; remember “I think I can, I think I can…”

When managing a bipolar relationship, it’s extremely common that the daily affirmations may need to go beyond that and be offered up several times per day.  Some days are going to be harder than others and this is especially the case when dealing with rapid cycling, the shifting of moods may include a phase of low self-esteem or questionable emotions.

For some folks, being told, “I love you” once is good enough.  I used to tell my wife that from the moment she first told me that she loved me, that’s all I needed until the time were to ever come that she no longer loved me.  However, not everybody is like this and I can respect and understand that aspect to the core.

Don’t Think of Yourself
At first, when I was being asked over and over again if I still loved my wife, it became annoying as hell.  Yes…yes dear…yes, I love you…still yes.  I grew annoyed with even saying the words to her without invitation, it almost became a pain to tell her how I felt because, well, I was going to be asked again later on if I still loved her and that only made me become selfish with my own feelings for her.

That way of thinking only caused damage because it started to make me cringe when I volunteered an out-of-the-blue affirmation, which didn’t help because being afraid of communicating your feelings is a huge no-no, for obvious reasons.  Once I gave up the game of selfishness and made an attempt to understand why my wife seemed to require so many affirmations, it started to make sense and that understanding was something that needed to come around before all lines of communication started to deteriorate.

If you find yourself being asked the same questions, don’t judge or demand that they stop simply because you may be tired of answering them over and over again.  Instead, take it as an opportunity to enhance the relationship link and strengthen that bond.  Maybe learn to offer the affirmations more, before they are asked for.  For some of us, there is a need for mental conditioning or dealing with self-esteem challenges that may need to be worked on, but by suppressing such affirmations, we go the opposite direction.

Be Proactive, But be Persistent
Years ago, I never would have done such a thing, but I now find myself offering more and more affirmations and although there are some flare-ups once in awhile, it definitely helps the both of us as far as sharing emotions and adding security in one another.  Now, there’s a happy medium to be met here so it’s not something you want to do just to ‘check it off the task-list’, if you will or else the efforts and the message become meaningless.

The most critical time to offer such support is also during some of the most difficult times as again, when the mood shift occurs, that’s when the insecurities can kick in.  It may be difficult to push your message of love through when your loved one is dealing with an episode and refuses to listen, but at the same time, this is the time to really offer that comfort even if the message appears to fall on deaf ears.

What Say You?
What do you think?  Are the daily affirmations enough; too little or not enough?  When rough patches hit, how can your loved ones support you with such affirmations, or how do you support your loved one during these times?

The main reason for this is because the negative side of Seroquel (and many other psych meds) are not very well shared until one performs some intensive research.  Unfortunately, that research is sometimes only done well after the fact that the medication has made itself known and is causing problems.  We were just as guilty with “trusting the doctors”, but have quickly learned that this is not the way to go.

That being said, we invite you to visit and bookmark her blog, The Bipolar Mom and if you are indeed looking for a some real-world insight on how Seroquel may negatively affect someone, please start out with her post, Seroquel Anger, then take some time to roam around as she continues to blog about her journey.

Although I am far from being a medical expert, my goal with this post is to get the word out on some of the dangers that may be brought on by taking Seroquel.

During our journey together on Bipolar Boulevard, my wife and I have been introduced to many different medications and supplements that may be added to the routine of those living with Bipolar Disorder.  Oddly enough, although my wife had heard of Seroquel in the past, it was not a medicine that she was wanting to experiment with until recently.

I haven’t written about it just yet, and although my wife really wants me to share the information with readers, we ended up running into some challenges that invited a hospital stay.  During that stay in the hospital, my wife was finally placed on Seroquel as she had ultimately tried just about every other medicine out there that was supposed to help her manage her condition.

The first few weeks, everything went very well on the Seroquel.  She was sleeping better and her overall moods had improved dramatically so we thought that we had finally been introduced to quite possibly, the ‘perfect’ medicine for her.

All That Glitters, Is Not Gold
When she came out of the hospital, we were all in a very intense period of transition including moving into a new house and working on making some major changes within the relationship and other personal areas.  We thought things were going well until about a month into our new surroundings and the medication schedule.

For some reason, my wife had started to present some really different traits that ultimately pushed her into becoming somebody that even I didn’t recognize.  Her anxiety levels raised unexpectedly, she started to deal with PTSD like images which then transferred over to OCD like behaviors and thoughts.  We started this new routine of having a new argument or outright fights every evening and neither one of us could really explain what was going on.

We quickly became very disconnected and all of the positivity and promises we had made to strengthen the relationship soon fell apart and faded away in a cloud of both irrational and true anger and rage that my wife could not seem to contain any longer.  Just about anything that could start a fight, did.  Almost anything that was said to each other, caused an argument.  This wasn’t us and it definitely wasn’t who my wife used to be.

Something Isn’t Quite Right
Although it was painfully obvious that something wasn’t exactly ‘right’ with some of the challenges we were running into, it didn’t become immediately obvious that there may be a link between the erratic bahavior and the Seroquel because for several weeks beforehand, it was ‘helping’.  Finally, during one of our more intense arguments, it came to me that the only real change that had been introduced to us was the new medication.  We talked it over a bit and then my wife went to work researching the possible side effects related to Seroquel to see if there was any validity to the suspicion.

Within minutes, my wife had found a ton of information linked to some very horrible side effects related to Seroquel.  Sure enough, after visiting countless websites and blogs of others, the same identifiers started to create a pattern:

• mood or behavior changes
• anxiety
• panic attacks
• trouble sleeping
• irritable
• agitated
• hostile
• aggressive
• restless
• more depressed
• thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself

That’s just a start…there are many others if you’re willing to do the research.  Unfortunately, my wife experienced every single one of these symptoms on a repetitive basis.

It Doesn’t Get Better
Based on some legislature changes coming down next month, and as a bit of a blessing, her clinic will no longer support giving her Seroquel, which would seem to be a good thing.  Now that she was to be taken off the medication and be transitioned over to another, we wanted the Seroquel gone as soon as possible and in a fit of anger, the rest of the Seroquel went down the toilet.  Unfortunately, Seroquel is NOT a medication to simply go off of cold turkey.

After reading up more, my wife had found out that there had been some folks that followed a similar path as far as quitting the Seroquel without weaning off of it only to end up causing such issues as strokes, death by heart failure or successful suicide attempts.  We ended up getting another prescription for her to use to wean off appropriately, however, the withdrawals alone are brutal.  In one article, withdrawing from Seroquel had been compared to withdrawing from Heroin.  Yikes!

Although I won’t give the address here, unless she changes her mind and wants it out, my wife has been documenting some of the challenges she has been running into during her withdrawal period.  It’s painful to watch and as much as I love my wife, it’s even more painful to try to comprehend what she’s going through.  This drug is not safe and even the big hitters that blog about such medications, and even her pharmacists, have told us that Seroquel is extremely dangerous and can indeed cause every symptom we have run into.

The sick part is that we were not told any of this before it was introduced into our lives together.  Seems to be the pattern anymore when it comes to the realm of Mental Health education.

What Say You?
Have you or a loved one been on Seroquel?  What challenges or dangers has this drug brought to your lives and how do you deal with them?

Even though TheBipolarSpouse.com has had its ups and downs since I started it, Benpolar has always been one to stick around and support the site and my wife and I.  We’ve had some short but awesome discussions and the guy knows his stuff.  Of course, as I always try to remind people, one path of action or recovery is not going to be the same for everybody else, but Benpolar has some good documentation and experience on Bipolar Disorder that he’s more than willing to share with the world.

That being said, I’ll continue to work on some new content but I invite you to take a look at Benpolar’s recent article on: Augmenting Treatment for Bipolar Disorder with Supplements.

“Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome involuntary thoughts, images, or unpleasant ideas that may become obsessions, are upsetting or distressing, and can be difficult to manage or eliminate.” – Wikipedia

To date, the most difficult challenge I have been faced with is competing with the intrusive thoughts that my wife battles on a daily basis.  Unfortunately, her conditions provide a breeding ground for such thoughts and they have been successful in constructing some of the strongest barricades that we have ever had to deal with in our time together.

Evidently there are differing types of intrusive thoughts that are actually typical within the human condition, but when such mental health challenges as OCD, depression, anxiety or PTSD (among others) are mixed in, these thoughts can blur the line of reality, disabling one from being able to comprehend what is real and what is not.

Unfortunately, many intrusive thoughts are derived from actual events that have occurred in one’s personal history and if such events have been traumatic in anyway, those thoughts are only piggy-backed onto the images that are already in place due to that trauma.  Although I don’t go into detail of my wife’s personal history here on the site, there are numerous examples I may be able to share, from my perspective, of course.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
When one suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), many of the intrusive thought patterns occur because one or more traumatic events actually happened and the mental images that are tied to those events force one to deal with such thoughts involuntarily.  The intrusive thoughts themselves can generate many feelings of anger, rage, sadness, guilt, shame and wreak havoc on self-esteem.

Within the realm of relationships, the intrusive thoughts can come at anytime, without warning.  These thoughts can also evolve into triggers that can induce a bipolar shift in mood or cycles especially if we are dealing with rapid cycling as well.  Intrusive thoughts permeate into the relationship as the sufferer may be slapped with feelings of disgust, self-loathing and sadness and may affect both participants.

Depression
Depression brings on a whole set of challenges on its own for those to deal with, I experience this myself and know first hand how depression can develop some pretty jacked up intrusive thoughts.  I have never been suicidal, but sometimes the sadness can bring on such severe feelings of worthlessness and failure in life, that the thoughts of, “Maybe my wife and children would be better off if I wasn’t here.” have been known to pop up once in awhile.

Luckily, I can stave these off pretty quickly and pull myself out of it, but unfortunately, many others cannot and this is when the intrusive thoughts can become a real threat.  Since the intrusive thoughts can be distinguished from some of the common depressive thoughts however, when there are suicidal thoughts added into the mix, that blurred line of reality can force one into actually going through with the suicide attempt.

Fighting Can Only Make it Worse
One of the more common coping skill is dealing with intrusive thoughts is to attempt to simply ignore them and bottle them up by pretending that they’re not there.  Unfortunately, although it may sound like a good idea to just give it the “F it!” attitude, it only skirts the issue and strengthens the severity of the images when they come around the next time.  Although I won’t go into detail on them here, there are proven and effective therapeutic treatment plans that may be able to help manage the intrusive thoughts rather that attempting to hide from something that will always know where to find you.

What Say You?
Intrusive thoughts are commonplace and in most cases, are not cause for alarm, but when those thoughts begin to interfere with quality of life, they bleed over into the realm of reality modification.  Do you deal with intrusive thoughts that may appear to be on the cliff of danger?  How do you cope with them when they start to feel strong enough to prevent you from being happy at all?